??雅思寫作:物種多樣性消失會怎么樣?雅思核心能力提升系列,作文大升級每天學(xué)習(xí)一點點提高英語不是夢 “作文大升級”(Major Essay Upgrade)每周三更新,題目取自雅思作文??荚掝},對同學(xué)們的一個作文主體段進行修改,然后由小編給出范例主體段。目的在于幫助大家發(fā)現(xiàn)自己的作文問題并提升表達。想知道自己作文問題出在哪里嗎?想了解怎么提升自己的表達寫好作文嗎?來看小編帶你升級! 學(xué)習(xí)方法: 1. 閱讀學(xué)生的初始版本,找出你認為需要修改的地方; 2. 閱讀升級后的版本,并且讀懂老師所作出的修改; 3.閱讀范文版本,積累高分表達。 4. 針對該話題寫一段自己的主體段(但不要使用范文觀點) Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. 初始版本 學(xué)生的一個主體段,主要論述生態(tài)失衡的壞處: It is true that destroying the balance of Biosystems will have a detrimental effect on the whole community. Some human activities such as deforestation, logging for urbanization and killing of animals cause a considerable decrease in the number of plants and animals, while lands with dense vegetation and the existence of animals are the essential factors to keep the community bloomy and long-lived. If the trees and animals do not retain the biodiversity, some problems will occur such as land desertification or overgrowth of one species. As a result, this might bring a irriverserble environmental damage for our society. 升級版本 學(xué)生主體段的升級版: It is true that destroying the balance of ecosystems will have a detrimental effect on the whole globe. Some human activities, such asclearing forests, filling wetlands,and converting wildlands to urban areas, cause a considerable decrease in the number of plants and animals, while lands with theexistence of dense vegetation and various animalsare the essential factors to keep the ecosystem bloomy and long-lived. However, if the biodiversity is not well retained, some problems will occur consequently,leading to irreversible damages to the environment we rely on. For instance, when animals and plants are losing their habitats and even become extinct because of deforestation, our agriculture will subsequently suffer from land degradationand even desertification.
1. and或or平行結(jié)構(gòu)前后詞形要一致 2. irriverserble單詞拼錯 3. 添加對比副詞增強邏輯 4. 增添例子 5. 句子調(diào)整和升級 范文版本 老師的一個主體段,論述生態(tài)失衡的壞處: It is surely acceptable that sometimes the extinction of a certain species occurs as a result of natural evolution, but the reason why species loss is a severe problem we face is that when the loss is caused by human intervention, it will eventually lead to catastrophic consequences. As is shown explicitlyby a large number of studies, ecosystems are delicately balanced by the coexistence of various animals and plants, while a seemingly negligible change, such as the disappearance of an insect, would have a ripple effect, bringing problems beyond we can imagine and control and threatening the entire, complex fabric of life, including that of us Homo sapiens. For example, a loss of a bee species can result in a lack of pollinators and thus a lower pollination rate, which causes a huge decline in seasonal produce and subsequently affects food supply. 高分表達 1. natural evolution 自然進化 2. human intervention 人類干預(yù) 3. catastrophic consequences 災(zāi)難性的后果 4. explicitly adv. 明確地 5. a ripple effect 連鎖反應(yīng) 6. theentire, complex fabric of life 整個復(fù)雜的生命結(jié)構(gòu)